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An extremely chilly looking clear drink in a tall glass. A lemon wedge hangs off of the side and a red and white striped straw erectly juts out.
A light blue tropical drink cartoon with a straw and a citrus wheel

In my never-ending search for my own personal truth, I had to ask the question of what cocktail could possibly represent my perceived sexuality or gender orientation. I by no means recommend the site that I'm about to link, but according to one source, the drink that may describe me is a Vodka Soda.


The site to blame, for those curious, is this one. It claims that the drink you order can tell a lot about you. I took the opposite approach and chose the drink based on how I've been described by other people. The mapping claims that "twinks" order vodka sodas (and light beer and Jägerbombs among other things).


I was under the impression that a vodka soda would be ordered by those stereotypical protein/calorie-conscious dudes who frequent the juice bar searching for their next mark. I jest! Different strokes for different folks (but watch out there gym bro! Vodka isn't saving you any calories over beer)


If I had to describe the taste of a vodka soda in a way that wasn't the obvious way, I'd begin with an analogy. If cocktails were types of rocks, and a Manhattan is a granite, then a Vodka Soda is a marble. Gemstones and precious rocks would probably be sweeter, and reactive elements like sulfur would be sours...

Vodka Soda

Vodka Soda

  • 2 oz (59 ml) Vodka (Union Forge)
  • Top with Sparkly Water (I used Topo Chico)
  • 1 Optional Squeeze of Lemon

Method: Build in Glass

Garnish: Lemon Wedge

Watch Us Mix this Recipe Live!

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